Wonderful piece Ben, particularly your comments on smart kindness. It all reminded me of the following verse. “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;”
Thanks Nancy. I think I have written about this in the past, but it is a common concern about how selfish or selfless we should be. Many Christians can take this too far, especially when dealing with some who like to milk the goodness of others to their own self-centered advantage. Being the selfless martyr doesn't work if you continue living after the sacrifice. It builds resentments instead. Selfishness to the exclusion of others is poor form as well. I like to think in terms of "self interest." In other words, it should be a win, win under most circumstances. Also, when dealing with adults (at times we have to sacrifice for the good of children covering for their immaturity) it is unloving to treat them as children or helpless if they can do things for themselves. So, say, you are dealing with an addict of some sort, if they don't go to work and get fired, it isn't your problem, it is theirs AND it is a loving act to allow them to experience the same life of responsibilities everyone else faces. It may appear to them as punishment when it is actually showing them respect that they should manage their own lives without our interference. Sorry, went long on this one.
I agree Ben, selflessness or kindness to others has to be done with proper perspective, or balance and respect for ones self as well as the receiver.
Wonderful piece Ben, particularly your comments on smart kindness. It all reminded me of the following verse. “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;”
Philippians 2:3
Thanks Nancy. I think I have written about this in the past, but it is a common concern about how selfish or selfless we should be. Many Christians can take this too far, especially when dealing with some who like to milk the goodness of others to their own self-centered advantage. Being the selfless martyr doesn't work if you continue living after the sacrifice. It builds resentments instead. Selfishness to the exclusion of others is poor form as well. I like to think in terms of "self interest." In other words, it should be a win, win under most circumstances. Also, when dealing with adults (at times we have to sacrifice for the good of children covering for their immaturity) it is unloving to treat them as children or helpless if they can do things for themselves. So, say, you are dealing with an addict of some sort, if they don't go to work and get fired, it isn't your problem, it is theirs AND it is a loving act to allow them to experience the same life of responsibilities everyone else faces. It may appear to them as punishment when it is actually showing them respect that they should manage their own lives without our interference. Sorry, went long on this one.