I have told some people not to use my past as a weapon against me. So far it is seeming to work, but, when it comes up again I repeat "Don't use my past as a weapon against me".
I don't think we are taught to do this. In fact, I think we learn our default ways of arguing from childhood which, frankly, is not a civilized time of life. We are told that unlike sticks and stones words don't hurt. It's a lie and it is perpetuated because it is so effective in controlling others' behavior without having to pick up sticks and stones (although it might escalate to this later). It is an important discipline of self control to guard our tongues and protect our own hearts from the destructive tongues of others.
I have told some people not to use my past as a weapon against me. So far it is seeming to work, but, when it comes up again I repeat "Don't use my past as a weapon against me".
I don't think we are taught to do this. In fact, I think we learn our default ways of arguing from childhood which, frankly, is not a civilized time of life. We are told that unlike sticks and stones words don't hurt. It's a lie and it is perpetuated because it is so effective in controlling others' behavior without having to pick up sticks and stones (although it might escalate to this later). It is an important discipline of self control to guard our tongues and protect our own hearts from the destructive tongues of others.
True. The words "suck it up" or "you're making a mountain out of a mole hill" seem to resound.
Note that both statements are intended to get the other to change their behavior. I consider this to be petting the gorilla.