We Are Powerless
Which is actually a good thing.
We are powerless over all drugs and disorders but it is our powerlessness that enables us to stop running or making excuses, and instead, sit down and listen.
For many of us, all our lives we were told and believed either that we could do anything or that we were worthless.
We bought into the idea we could overcome anything by ourselves or that we would never amount to anything so stop seeking help and wasting other people’s time. Both ideas lead away from WE. Instead they lead us into the world of loneliness and isolation.
We believed we didn’t need any help or were beyond help; that to ask, is to annoy.
We thought we could overcome the odds, do any thing we want, drink anything we want, eat anything we want, gamble everything we have and don’t have, and in the end, it would all work out.
Many die every day believing this.
Or…
We knew nothing would work out for us so we decided to do crazy things, drink to unconsciousness, pop or inject unknown substances into our body, binge eat everything, purge or cut ourselves, or lose it all at the gambling table.
Many die every day doing these things.
Some of us held strange and common ideas about others as well.
We believed we could fix, change, or manipulate others (for their own good of course) and they would thank us for all of the coercion and drama later.
Or…
We gravitated toward losers and outcasts and they to us. That was our original common bond. It seemed a lower bar compared to relationships based on mutual care and concern (aka love).
Relationships every day die because of all this crazy behavior.
To admit to being powerless is the same as admitting defeat, which is the one thing no one wants to ever do. Ever.
I suppose it keeps the prideful out along with the independent, I’ll-do-it-my-way types. They aren’t into the idea of “We” being of any use.
This isn’t to say they don’t come and check meetings out. It’s that they apparently choose not to return. They haven’t hit their bottom just yet, I suppose.
Often the excuse is that something is not up to their standards. It didn’t meet their expectations. They might be living on the street or the CEO of a company, but they see no benefit sitting and listening to others who they can tell don’t know what they are talking about. They believe God blessed them with this sixth sense to identify ahead of time what surely won’t work.
Or…
They don’t believe in God because of course, if he really existed, they wouldn’t be experiencing the pain they are in right now. Their prayers would have been answered to their satisfaction.
In Conclusion —
I have to lose before there will ever hope to be the possibility of recovery and ultimately winning where it really counts.
But before I can accept the help and support of WE, I have to get past ME. Until then my life will remain in disarray.
Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.