We Are Powerless
Which is actually a good thing.
We are powerless over all drugs and disorders.
But it is our powerlessness that allows us to stop running or making excuses.
We finally become willing stop, sit down, and listen.
For many of us, all our lives we were told and believed one of two errors; that we were either perfect or worthless — that we could do no wrong or nothing right.
Both ideas lead away from community, from the help others have to give and instead, they lead us into aloneness and isolation.
We either believed we didn’t need any help or were beyond it.
We thought we could overcome the odds, do any thing we want, drink anything we want, eat anything we want, gamble everything we have and don’t have, and in the end, it would all work out.
Many die every day believing this.
Or…
We knew nothing would work out for us so we decided to do crazy things, drink to unconsciousness, pop or inject unknown substances into our body, binge eat everything, purge or cut ourselves, or lose it all at the gambling table.
Many of us also held strange ideas, not just about ourselves, but about others as well.
We believed we could fix, change, or manipulate others (for their own good of course) and they would thank us for all of the coercion and drama later.
Or…
We gravitated toward losers and outcasts and they to us.
That was our original common bond.
It seemed a lower bar compared to relationships based on mutual care and concern (aka love).
To admit to being powerless is the same as admitting defeat, which is the one thing no one wants to ever do.
To Conclude:
We have to lose before there will ever hope to be the possibility of recovery and ultimately winning where it really counts.
But before any of us can accept the help and support of WE, we have to get past ME.
Two things I ask of you; deny them not to me before I die:
Remove far from me falsehood and lying;
give me neither poverty nor riches;
feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny you
and say, “Who is the LORD?”
or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.