Don’t argue with people who aren’t in the room.
It’s nice to have a quiet peaceful day unless you carry arguments and disputes with you like a box of toy soldiers.
That’s how children play isn’t it?
They get out their toys and imagine scenarios.
Both boys and girls do this. It’s all rehearsing for that day when they will be grown up.
The problem can be that we don’t learn the true discipline of rest.
We don’t at times quiet our minds.
Instead, in quiet places we rehearse conversations and arguments to be deployed when we get the chance.
Now if you are an attorney or salesperson, it is part of your work to prepare arguments and sales pitches. This is fine. What is not helpful is to never turn this activity off.
Now I know in Eastern religious practices seeking a mental state of nothingness is the objective.
Western religious practices are different. They encourage a refocus away from problems and toward the one outside ourselves who can solve problems.
This requires us to stop thinking our own thoughts all the time. Rest allows our ears and our minds to be more open to the sights, sounds, and conversations around us. We learn to be better listeners.
And healthy sleep restructures the brain — often dropping new options and solutions at our feet upon awakening.
To switch from attempting to solve our problems by staying on them beyond the state of exhaustion and, instead, taking breaks both physical and mental will often result in our experiencing false guilt. We can end up scolding ourselves for “giving up or being weak” when the true problem might be we are falsely believing our persistence is all that is necessary.
True, sometimes it’s necessary to push ourselves, but not in every situation. And most longterm important problems require a stamina achieved by taking care of our mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health in the process.
Finally, if you haven’t noticed by now, practicing arguments with others is a waste of time because they never go as planned. Better to relax, listen, be open, and respond as gently as possible in the moment.