The Pain of Rethinking Everything

People often share how their conversion was such a wonderful thing. I’m not arguing this point if this was your experience. It just wasn’t mine.

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

To me it didn’t seem like that great an idea when it meant abandoning everything I once thought made the most sense. In addition there is the awkward strain on relationships built around common life ideas that then become strained because someone got religion or something.

And that’s a big reason why so many people choose to continue living with ideas they know are wrong.

I get it.

And what is even more interesting is that it affects believers who simply change their minds, not so much about God’s existence, but how to understand him. After all, that’s the story of denominations.

People agree with one another about doctrine (a set of agreed religious beliefs) until they don’t, which then causes churches to split and new denominations to form. And the funny thing is everyone settles down where they believe they are closest to the truth - except this isn’t the whole story.

Just as there are the doctrinal purists insisting on conformity at least on important issues, there are also conformists prioritizing community who will accept a little doctrinal vagueness and even error in order to stay together.

And who is right or wrong always boils down to whose opinion we care to agree with.

This actually describes human nature in even broader terms than merely religious behavior. For example, we see this being played out right now with whether or not to wear masks in public.

Initially it began, not based on any good science, but out of fear of the unknown. This particular Covid-19 event upended established principles within Public Health as well as the understanding of viral spread and infection being then taught in virology courses worldwide.

As far as the general public was concerned it started as an understandable fear of the unknown and we listened to trusted authorities little knowing at the time we had stepped into an arena of strong power players proclaiming their religious-like convictions.

When we were told to “follow the science,” initially those without scientific training chose (logically) to follow those in authority having credible medical and other advanced scientific degrees. However, those trained in how science actually works knew that the idea of “following science” is an absurdity - which would account for the quiet opinions of millions of scientifically literate people worldwide. They know that science is about skepticism and experimentation, not consensus. It functions by striving to root out errors in order to come closer to most accurately understanding how things in the known universe really work.

For the scientifically trained, whether to comply and promote public mask wearing, became a question about a personal cost/benefit ratio for bucking authority, especially when the authority are real live employers, members of licensing boards, or approval committees deciding who deserves massive amounts of grant money.

So what early on began as fear of the unknown morphed into fear of authority.

But it didn’t stay there.

At some point, after even the scientifically untrained began seeing that mask wearing provides no protection from an airborne virus, there was still tremendous hesitation to removing the mask. This persists up to the present even after most mask mandates have been lifted. Why is this?

Now, for the most part, I believe we are witnessing the fear of crowds, strangers, and alpha-dog personalities who live with or near all of us. Again, people are calculating their personal risk/benefit ratios as to whether or not to continue wearing masks. In which camp are they most likely not to be challenged or threatened by crowds, strangers, and outspoken friends and family members? Right now my guess is it still feels safest from behind the mask.

This is how whole societies can become psychologically stuck living for the most part with ideas they know to be false.

Why?

It all comes from fear, which is the flip side of power. Power works by stoking fear in order to coerce cooperation.

So what began as my thoughts about the discomfort of conversion has led to thinking about an important universal life lesson, having actually little to do with religion or face mask wearing. We are actually reflecting on the critical importance of operating out of personal autonomy as the best way to live the one life we have been given.

Recovery and growth into a life of meaning and beauty begins by stepping into that scary place of risking the disappointment of others in order to do, what we can best discern, in the moment, to be right and best. And these do not come out of feelings and intuition but searching and struggling to find that one good path leading to God.

The  journey’s direction (the way) must line up  with the principle to do what is right (the truth) whether popular or not. It is choosing to develop a way of life (one of spiritual abundance) and Jesus is just making it easy for us when he tells us, if we have seen him (if we understand why his life is the still point of this turning world) then we are on the right path to ultimately seeing his Father.

It is true that choosing to make life decisions independent of outside threats, authority figures, crowds, and pushy loved ones requires the courage of conviction. However, the reward for taking this less-traveled road is a sense of freedom that might best be described as being born again.

How about that.

This reflection ends where we started, talking about the challenges of conversion and the critical hassle of rethinking everything.

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Jesus said to [Thomas], “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

John 14:6 (ESV)