The Genius of a Twelve Step Meeting

Who hasn’t been in a boring meeting?

Photo by Redd F on Unsplash

There is a reason meetings can get boring, and it doesn’t really have to do so much with the subject matter.

Teaching, learning, exploring, discussing, and strategizing are all aspects of communication — how we interact with each other. Meeting boredom results from a disconnect between those in the meeting.

I’m sure there are many reasons brains get bored and disconnect in most meetings but let me give you three.

1. The meeting might be boring because some are forced to be there against their will. Compulsory attendance, being forced to sit and listen, usually results in brain shutdown.

2. Another source for boredom is the subject is being taught by an “expert” who happens to be bored, boring, or both. Someone talks and everyone else stays quiet and listens.

3. Thirdly, if the subject is perceived to be impossible, irrelevant, or impractical to implement effectively the brain will look for something usually more relevant or entertaining to focus on.

So how is a recovery meeting different?

1. Aside from anyone forced to attend, say, due to a court order, everyone in attendance wants to be there. Many see it as a matter of life and death.

2. It doesn’t matter who runs the meeting. The structure has been laid out and understood by all participants. This makes it almost impossible for a meeting to be hijacked by anyone who seeks out meetings to dominate. Even if the most boring and irritating individual decides to chair a meeting, it will not ruin it. This is because time to speak, even by the one running the meeting is limited. Everyone is free and welcomed to share, but they agree beforehand to be accountable to the group. All promise they will not use their time arguing or complaining. In other words, if we have a complaint, which is common and fair, the purpose for speaking is not to recount misery but to express what we have found helpful and hopeful in the midst of our trials. Also it is fair to share in order to ask questions to the group as a whole.

3. There is no crosstalk — meaning two people cannot talk to each other directly and since each one has only one opportunity within the meeting to speak they are not able to respond to any comments once they have spoken.

4. There are no do’s or must’s in the meeting. Participants are invited to take what they want and leave the rest. This means each will grow at their own pace and do things as they determine best under their circumstances.

5. Having even one hour a week sitting in a meeting with likeminded people seeking to become better people in order to live happier more productive lives is time well spent.