Self-Pity
Likely the greatest impediment to emotional health.
Initially self-potty might feel appropriate, justified, and even necessary as part of recovery from wounds inflicted by thoughtless others.
This is a lie.
Self-pity (aka resentment) promises comfort from real and perceived injuries. It fuels our creative minds with what initially sound like rational rebukes and curses. It gives us vengeful thoughts to entertain as we imagine getting even in some justifiably self-righteous way. Sometimes, if chewed on too long, our thoughts can spill over into true criminal acts.
Self-pity justifies holding grudges and holding grudges glue us to our wounds which, over time, deeply alter ourĀ personalities. We become dower and difficult to be around. All joy will be sucked out of every room we enter.
Self-pity is a curse with a stench attached.
Self-pity requires at some level the belief that I am superior to others. What wrongs me is far worse than what wrongs everyone else.
Self-pity removes personal responsibility and shifts the blame for everything in life onto others.
How to deal with self-pity
Call it out in yourself. Donāt tolerate it. Recognize it as a poison that is seriously harming your opportunity to live happy, joyous, and free.
Surrender your pride to God. Ask him to remove from you this huge, but often invisible, defect of character.
Pray for those who hurt you ā not that God will club them, but that he will heal and change them into better people. Trust me, the meaner they are, the more God will move them through difficult times in order to restore them. (Which is what he does with us, donāt you know)?
Reach out to others for support. Donāt suffer alone and stop imagining that your problems are that unique. We all struggle with wounds, self-pity, and holding grudges.
[Jesus speaking]
But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.
Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.ā
Luke 6:27-38 (ESV)
