Real Listening
It is a quiet activity that solves so many problems.
When I, without permission or real request, insert my suggestions or opinions into someone else’s life, especially when I have not spent the necessary time to truly understand them at a deep and empathetic level, I have most likely caused more harm than help.
What’s worse, because I have not listened, I rush things by assuming they have said and meant things they have not said or meant, in order to give myself permission to emotionally respond — which then frees me to feel embarrassed, sad, mad, hopeful, encouraged, discouraged,. . . and then act accordingly.
Even though the equation is flawed at its beginning, it can still, in the end begin to seem completely rational, even brilliant.
Any argument against it will surely be found completely ridiculous.
And who doesn’t like winning a good argument?
And then of course, when they respond in shock and disbelief, I will act shocked and surprised by their response to my response.
They will behave as if they didn’t do anything wrong, and then so will I.
This will then lead me into entering a season of shock and bewilderment.
“Why is it my fault?” I will seriously wonder.
And why won’t they take responsibility for my interpretation of their actions?
Unbelievable!