Without permission I insert my thoughts into what I see in another’s behavior, not that I have any real idea what they are actually thinking. What’s worse is I then assign them words they did not say while giving myself permission to emotionally respond. This frees me to feel embarrassed, sad, mad, hopeful, encouraged, discouraged,. . . and then act accordingly.
Even though the equation is flawed at its conception, it can still, in the end begin to seem completely rational, even brilliant. Any argument against it will surely be found completely ridiculous. And who doesn’t like winning a good argument?
And then of course, when they respond in shock and disbelief, I will act shocked and surprised by their response to my response. They will behave as if they didn’t do anything wrong, and then so will I.
This will then lead me into entering a season of shock and bewilderment. “Why is it my fault?” I will seriously wonder. And why won’t they take responsibility for my interpretation of their actions? Unbelievable!
And yet, might there be a better way?