Love’s Impostor
If there is a part of you that is resisting what I am saying, then you have already met the enemy.
Let's review.
We are taught love from two different sources.
One is gentle, slow, and constant. It connects with us at the deepest level.
The other is exciting, usually flashy, and sporadic. And what it tells us to do is go with our feelings; to play the game of love. Much of advertising makes a living off this message. It is in our music, art, and fashions with youthful exuberance, drugs, and alcohol contributing to the distortions.
Those who fall for the world's hype end up losing themselves and fail at doing what is best long-term both for themselves and others. This is interesting because True Love does something similar by giving of itself sacrificially. (We’ll get into this more later). The difference, however, is that True Love enhances the individual's self worth. It is doing a greater good, not what appears good in the short run.
Now to new material.
The Impostor’s name is Lust.
It tries to separate truth from love and tells us that feelings are the critical measure as to what we should do in relationships.
A good proof that lust has been involved is that it quickly leads to regrets which leads to heart break and the diminishment of self-esteem.
Often, as good feelings turn bad and shame grows, the scapegoat becomes God. "Why did God do this to me? Why did God let this happen? etc.
Now, I like Barry Manilow as a performer. I think he is a fantastic song writer, arranger and singer. He is incredibly talented. I just wish his songs on love were less pop and of deeper substance. But at least he is helping me provide you a good bad example of what this feelings-equals-love (aka. lust) sounds like. I'm sure many of you remember this one.
The singer is lamenting that he has lost the love feeling and needs the doctor to help fix this terrible problem.
Do you agree? One of the very human things to do when we are beginning to have second thoughts is to try to make sure everyone knows we were the good one in the relationship, that we really struggled and searched high and low to try and fix this dilemma, but sadly…
Tomorrow let’s consider the blessing of heart break.