Love and Disrespect
True love is the right way to understand how to live the best life possible. Many disagree.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5a (ESV)
True love is the right way to understand how to live the best life possible. Ironically, this calls on love to respect others, especially when they disagree.
For this reason love must not behave rudely while at the same time always carrying within it the capacity to accept the rudeness of others. This then enables love to convert others to its way of living through how it is seen in the conflicts of life and not by how it argues, debates, or tries to coerce.
Outside observers, who might be themselves undecided on how best to live, are able to see the rudeness of one side in contrast with love’s gentle and kind response. This can then empower or inspire them to hunger and thirst after righteousness.
Another interesting observation about the four descriptors so far listed in 1Corinthians 13:4-5 that are the opposite of love — envy, boasting, arrogance, and rudeness — is that envy and arrogance are attitudes or mindsets often displayed to the world as boasting and rudeness. To describe it another way, boasting is the behavior coming out of the attitude of envy, and rudeness is the behavior that reflects the attitude of arrogance.
But now, let’s take this reflection a bit deeper and think about how we change our minds — how we decide whether to pursue self-sufficiency or the opposite — loving ourselves, others, and God well.
Here is my observation. Our minds only change when we decide to change them.
Brainwashing obviously attempts to bypass the victim’s right to decide what is best, but at the cost of the personality. Forcing compliance results in a severe reduction in the joy of living. Love is the opposite. It grows joy along with creativity — all the stuff that makes up what living the abundant life is all about. This, to me, is why love, although at first it appears weak, is the most attractive goal to pursue. It draws us to be our best without lecturing, intimidating, scolding, or belittling. It respects the rights of others to make their own decisions whether or not we agree with them because it is playing a longer strategy. Love waits patiently for those it loves to turn around and come home. And when they do, love celebrates and dries all tears.
But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father.
But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.
And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.
Luke 15:17-24 (ESV)
