Can you?
Can you stop right there? Or is it when you start a sentence, especially one that is the expression of your building frustrations, it must be completed? Otherwise — and here’s the justification — you aren’t being “honest?”
I think it is a common thought that the improvement of someone’s behavior has the potential of blessing my life. It comes out of a different truth, because the above statement turns out to be the false fantasy of a frustrated mind. Life is never going to easy for the simple reason we are a mess inside ourselves with no help from anyone else. But here is the deeper truth. When it comes to the behavior of people we purport to love, we are powerless — assuming we wish to remain loving. We can ask and even plead, but assuming they are healthy and mature enough to make reasonable decisions, even those we may not like or even think wise, it is their responsibility alone to make them.
Think about yourself. Put yourself on the receiving end of your criticism and ask if your harsh angry demeaning words are very helpful? Even if, apart from your tone and body language (which turns out to be most of it) you are correct, how does this improve your relationships? How does this behavior qualify you to ever be a trusted confidant to anyone?
Being in a state of resentment that your life isn’t going well because of anyone else’s behavior, even if atrocious, is a cop out because it ignores the one thing you and I can do and are responsible for doing and that is working on ourselves — managing our own hula hoops.
I know if you are anything like me, when you open up the door to your own disordered soul and step in to see what you can do to improve a few things, that the mess and stench can be overwhelming. In addition, when looking back on your actions and choices and realizing time is not reversible, that it only ticks in one direction, and when youthful ignorance and justifications dry up, hopefully you will consider asking your Higher Power to meet you where you are. And look for those who are kind to others in open and unconditional ways. My guess is they know something about God that would be worth listening to.
Life is definitely easier if God is invited to come in.
The Pharisee and the Tax Collector
[Jesus] also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Luke 18:9-14 (ESV)
Guilty as charged. Thank you Ben for centering me for the day.