There is a pressure that passes comprehension and problems so complicated they have no easy or obvious solutions. The result is sometimes we end up spinning our wheels battling ghosts and boxing shadows. Piling on top of the worry comes guilt, some of it true and some of it false. We think if we had made better choices we would have had better outcomes. Probably true in many cases but not known and likely untrue in others.
So what's the answer?
The answer is illogical, bypassing the cerebral cortex. It's digging deeper to a level below the problems, beneath the storms. It is to go for a peace that passes understanding; a peace we do not have and cannot make; a peace we need to receive.
This goes against our pride because we believe we have the intellectual ability to create peace or move into peacefulness by doing the right things and avoiding the wrong things. This sort of makes sense and often improves our situation, but it results in a limited predictable peace and sometimes unpredictable disappointments.
The peace that passes understanding is like waking from sleep to discover you are safe and loved in the same way a baby is loved by her mother. We are for some inexplicable reason the object of God's affection. When we rest in this, permit this truth to really sink in, it changes everything in ways beyond description.
In the following passage note where the word “peace” is found. Note also that this is what comes to you when you do what the passage recommends. Finally, in the last line, observe who comes with this peace.
Philippians 4:4-9 (ESV)
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Once you have experienced that peace the tendency is to want to chase after it. But to your point Ben, we must receive it. That involves being ready for the gift. Doing what the Philippines passage recommends to us brings us closer to the God of Peace. And He indeed will be with you. Even in life's lowest moments when you hear the words "you have cancer", you may be surprised by the peace and calmness that you feel. And yes it does "change everything in ways beyond description" !!