If I Can't (or Don't) Have You Baby...
I thought I would give you a sample of a few songs with similar titles.
I really enjoyed putting this together. Three different songs that reached the pop charts of their respective seasons of fame having nearly the same titles. This tells me what they are singing about is a very popular theme.
I hope you read the lyrics. You won’t have to dwell too much on them. At the end I will give you a few of my observations.
The first is from Satruday Night Fever Soundtrack 1977. Writers: Barry Alan Gibb, Maurice Ernest Gibb, and Robin Hugh Gibb (aka. The Bee Gees)
If I Can’t Have You
Don't know why I'm survivin' ev'ry lonely day When there's got to be no chance for me My life would end And it doesn't matter how I cry My tears, so far, are a waste of time If I turn away Am I strong enough to see it through Go crazy is what I will do If I can't have you I don't want nobody baby If I can't have you, uh-huh, oh If I can't have you I don't want nobody baby If I can't have you, uh-ho, oh oh oh Can't let go and it doesn't matter how I try I gave it up So easily To you my love To dreams that never will come true Am I strong enough to see it through Go crazy is what I will do If I can't have you I don't want nobody baby If I can't have you, uh-huh, oh If I can't have you I don't want nobody baby If I can't have you, uh-ho, oh If I can't have you I don't want nobody baby If I can't have you, uh-huh, oh If I can't have you I don't want nobody baby If I can't have you, uh-ho oh If I can't have you I don't want nobody baby If I can't have you, uh-huh, oh If I can't have you I don't want nobody baby If I can't have you, uh-ho oh If I can't have you
Now, let’s go to 2015. The singer is Tamar Braxton. It ‘s the lead single from her fourth studio album “Calling All Lovers.” Writers: Tamar Braxton, Kevin Randolph, Tony Russell, Makeba riddick-Woods, Ernest Clark, Marcos Palacios, LaShawn Daniels and Tiyon “TC” Mack.
If I Don’t Have You
[Verse 1] Sitting in the dark, off in my room, thinking of you I'm at the brink of me breaking down 'Cause all these thoughts of me and you apart Won't leave my head right now [Pre-Chorus] Baby, baby, call me crazy 'Cause I know without you I won't be no good When the latch on my heart comes unhooked [Chorus] You should know if I don't have you (Rocks me to the core, I can't love no more) If I don't have you (Know I'm done for sure, nobody worth fighting for) I'll tear down these walls, that's on my life I'll lose my mind if I don't have you (If I don't have you) [Verse 2] Looking at my phone, but you ain't even call I put it in the drawer 'cause I wanna be right next to you If you wanna talk, baby, come on through Before it's all done, tell me I'm your only one [Pre-Chorus] Baby, baby, call me crazy 'Cause I know without you I won't be no good When the latch on my heart comes unhooked [Chorus] You should know if I don't have you (Rocks me to the core, I can't love no more) If I don't have you (Know I'm done for sure, nobody worth fighting for) I'll tear down these walls, that's on my life I'll lose my mind if I don't have you (If I don't have you) [Bridge] It's way too late to start things over Can't seem to get it together We try, and we try, but we won't look wrong dead in the eyes Let's try and make it right 'cause I don't wanna fight Can't see myself without you in my life Please don't say you're done with me 'Cause you're my baby, baby [Chorus] 'Cause you know if I don't have you (Rocks me to the core, I can't love no more) If I don't have you (Know I'm done for sure, nobody worth fighting for) I'll tear down these walls, that's on my life I'll lose my mind if I don't If I don't have you (Rocks me to the core, I can't love no more) If I don't have you, I know I'm done for sure Nobody worth fighting for Say, baby, I'ma tear down these walls and that's on my life I'll lose my mind if I don't have you Oooh, baby If I don't have (You) If I don't have you Baby, baby, baby
And I know what you’re thinking. Didn’t the Backstreet Boys sing a song entitled “If I Don’t Have You”?
Why yes, yes they did.
Writers: Gary B Baker and Timothy M Allen, 1997, from the Album “Backstreet’s Back”
If I Don’t Have You (2)
Everyday girl, I wake up and pray That you'll come back home And don't take too long 'Cause since you've been gone Everything's gone a bit wrong I wish you were here Holding me near You know I'd go out of my mind If you ever left my love behind So I'm begging you please (So I'm begging, begging you please) Bring your sweet love back to me (Please come back to me) If I don't have you (don't have you) To hold on to (to hold on to) I can't go on in this world alone Baby, it's true (baby, it's true if I don't have you) If you said goodbye (you said goodbye) Girl, I would die (girl, I would die) I'm a star with no light, a day with no night If I don't have you Late at night, I reach to hold you tight But you're not there (You're just not there, baby) I know you still care (I know you still care) And oh, how I miss your soft and love, lovely kiss You'd give to me (to me) So tenderly We used to feel That time would stand still When I see you baby, it will So hurry home (So hurry, come home to me) You know your man needs you so (Oh girl, can't you see) Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh If I don't have you (don't have you) To hold on to (to hold on to) I can't go on in this world alone Baby, it's true (baby, it's true if I don't have you) If you said goodbye (you said goodbye) Girl, I would die (girl, I would die) I'm a star with no light, a day with no night If I don't have you If I don't have you (don't have you) (If I don't have you, no-no) To hold on to (to hold on to) (I just wanna hold you) I can't go on (can't go on) in this world alone Baby, it's true (baby, it's true if I don't have you) (Baby-baby) If you said goodbye (you said goodbye) (If you said goodbye, I would die) Girl, I would die (girl, I would die) (I would die if I don't have you) I'm a star with no light (no light), a day with no night If I don't have you You know I'll go crazy without you (if I don't have you) (If I don't have you, no-no) To hold on to (to hold on to) (I just wanna hold you) I can't go on (can't go on) in this world alone (in this world alone) Baby, it's true (baby, it's true if I don't have you) If you said goodbye (you said goodbye) (If you said goodbye, I would die) Girl, I would die (girl, I would die) (Girl, I know I would die) I'm a star with no light A day with no night If I don't have you
First note how many times “I” and “me” are used. This might explain in part why the other one left (just kidding - sort of).
So let me take a stab at the problem and then I want to hear from you. Often relationships don’t work out because they involved two people who may have had great chemistry at first, but didn’t understand how and why the relationship should last. The breakup hurts, which is unpleasant, and so the one singing the song hopes that getting back together will make all their problems go away. It won’t because relationships, to go deeper, have to become serious in the areas of commitment and personal growth — becoming the person you and the other might want to be married to for the long haul. All the lamenting lovers singing here seem a bit unhinged. Keep in mind there was a reason the other thought it best to leave.
Do comment. I and others would love to know your thoughts.
This last time I read through these lyrics it occurred to me that perhaps these songs are popular because we like thinking we have this magic attraction on others that drives them a bit crazy.
If you pin all your hopes and dreams on messy people you will always be disappointed. Healthy relationships that mature and last need to be other centered, and at least a little sacrificial. And, of course we relate to others better the the deeper our security is anchored in Christ.