I Am Weakest When
This morning I slept in. Not good, because I then was compelled to write the following personal rebuke.
I am weakest when I don’t think I have a problem.
Should I ever come out of a season of solitude with nothing but a good report, believing I have finally arrived, that I can now relax indefinitely, then I am set for a great fall.
And when I begin seeing other people’s problems as comparatively much worse than my own, as a way of vindicating myself, then I am already way down a dark hole.
To say within myself (because I know how it would sound if I said it out loud) that all is well, makes me, first of all, the worst of liars because I am attempting to deceive myself. There is no longer truth in me. I may convince others to see me as “successful” but if this is all they see then they are looking at a shallow one-dimensional figment of their own imagination. If I permit this publicity stunt of an image to shine unchallenged then others might follow my cultivated persona off a cliff, not realizing that this lifestyle of running out the clock is to be avoided at all costs. It is corrupt and will ultimately collapse on the weight of its own arrogance and mental, spiritual, emotional and relational laziness.
PUSH BACK:
But don’t I need confidence? After difficult times and terrible tragedies isn’t it an act of courage and faith to declare all is well with my soul?
Absolutely, mine came not after great loss, just a great nap.
Sure I need confidence and also courage, but they should come from a healthy heart fully aware of its limitations and potential blind spots. It is always healthiest for my soul to accept my limitations as well as God’s sovereignty to take care of me
PUSH BACK NUMERO DOS:
If I am not trying to overcome my difficulties and problems, then doesn’t this remove my ability to set goals and have hope? Wouldn’t this dwelling on my weaknesses and failures lead to despair?
Acknowledging that I have limitations and problems is not useful as a general statement. It needs to be specific because I should be moving toward a better self and a better life. Achieving success, overcoming weaknesses and difficulties, aught to lift the spirit and enable me to move toward new obstacles that now come into focus as others have been overcome or managed. Some character flaws may run deeper than I realize and may attempt to come back the minute I let my guard down. Also living within the reality that this life always will have problems until I die allows me to continue to look up for help.
Problems keep me needing to continually seek God, persevere in prayer, and fellowship with others who are walking the same path.
