How We Change
It’s really very simple.
I’ll let Charlie Tremendous Jones tell you. It’s just one minute long.
The people we meet and the books we read.
That’s it? What a simple and profound thought. I first heard this as a kid and I still believe it to be true.
Now I have read my share of motivational books and listened to my share of motivational speakers, and I really have nothing against them and their desire to help me become a better person.
I think it is nice if you wish this for me and I wish this for you as well.
Where I fear it can go off track is that you and I might think we will improve who we are by what we do only. No need for anyone else.
It’s a subtle point. Allow me to be blunt.
You can’t change yourself.
Yes you can try, but even if you succeed it will likely come with some undesirable side effects — like arrogance and pride.
Sure, on the one hand you must decide to read and listen to other people smarter than you, but on the other hand your change will come through what they teach you. Otherwise you stay in your ignorance attempting to change the junk in your head with the junk in your head.
It has to do with how we go about trying to do improve ourselves. If we attempt to do this in our own strength then we will find ourselves losing joy, peace, and love in the end.
But on the other hand, if we submit ourselves to God’s will and allow him to direct our paths we will achieve more than we can hope or imagine while, at the same time, remaining grounded and connected with those we love and who love us.
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?
Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?
You desire and do not have, so you murder.
You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.
You do not have, because you do not ask.
You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.
You adulterous people!
Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?
Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?
But he gives more grace.
Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
James 4:1-6 (ESV)