How to Fix the Past
Stop repeating it.
Ever wreck a car?
Ever lose a lot of money because you left it somewhere accidentally?
Ever spoke words in anger you regretted later?
They all reveal a common time problem.
We can’t unwind it, except in our imaginations
Therefore , we will always have regrets.
What I find most interesting personally about my past foibles is that often I end up learning the wrong lessons.
The simplest answers often don’t cut it.
And how do I know I learned the wrong lesson?
Because when I go and act out the lesson I think I was supposed to learn, it backfires — which then results in new regrets.
For example, let’s take the angry words bit.
I have an argument and I unleash a few well-placed, well-timed, clever-sounding-in-the-moment angry words that hit their mark, putting the other in his or her place —
which then sets off a cascade of unintended events . . . that lead me to regret my initial actions and …
And what then?
How do I best fix this now-past intentional action I now regret?
The simple knee-jerk response is to resolve never to do it again.
This is the equivalent of quietly slapping my own wrist.
It is a terrible response because it does nothing to resolve the pain I have inflicted on someone else.
But that isn’t even the half of why it is so bad.
It also does nothing to help me actually grow into a better human being, and there is one important truth about human beings critical to understand.
We are always changing, never static, never able to actually just remain in neutral.
Doing nothing is actually doing something, and in this instance, a weak lifeless wrist-slapping response only degrades our character.
Which brings me to this big question:
Whenever we do something we regret, what are possibly better next steps to consider?
Any thoughts?
