How to Enjoy Serenity
in spite of living with people we care about who can drive us a little nuts.
There is a single idea that, if accepted, can change the effects of difficult relationships.
It is the acknowledgment that we are completely responsible for ourselves alone.
This includes even older children who are no longer in need of basic discipline. I know this goes against some people’s basic instincts. It is very common to be taught and believe we are responsible for the actions of others, however, we do ourselves and them a great disservice not permitting the making of mistakes. It is through failure some of our best and strongest lessons are learned. Why deprive others of this valuable gift? And by “others” I mean spouse, friends, coworkers, bosses, employees, children, other relatives, and even ourselves. We all need tons of grace.
About Children Specifically.
How children transition from early childhood to this more independent state is not easy. It is not by crossing some arbitrary time line, but through demonstrations of growing maturity. My point is that the very young need intense guidance, but as they demonstrate maturity, they then need to have restrictions relaxed incrementally. The job of every good parent is to work yourself out of a job you love.
Certainly, by the time they leave home they are no longer in need of a parental micro-manager directing or approving their every step. They, like us, need to reach a level of independence which also means a level of personal responsibility. And if they make poor choices (which they will), then they have the same opportunity we have to fix and grow from them.