How Many Friends Do We Need?
Minimally, just one, but a few more is always appreciated.
Question:
Is it good to have a lot of friends?
Most of us would say, “Sure,” but the following proverb adds a caution.
A man of many companions may come to ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)
When we are young, we just want to be liked, and the more people who like us, the more significant we think we are.
With age comes experience that will, at times, hopefully force us to reconsider whether or not popularity is all it’s cracked up to be.
Now I am not the first to observe that social media is a two-edged sword.
It enables us to find people with common interests around the globe, but it also sucks us into an ironic illusion.
While we are spending more and more time in front of a glowing screen of some internet-linked device believing we are “connecting” with “friends,” we are losing connections with real people.
We think, as a society, we are making friends when we are actually becoming more and more isolated.
This might explain why Generation Z, those between the ages of around 13-29 — all born after the Internet came of age, and who also experienced COVID while in school — are experiencing the highest levels of anxiety and depression of any age group today.
Now, more than ever, it is important to be grounded in reality and the importance of having strong friendships where we live.
These are human beings living life around us, people we can go, see, and touch today if we need to.
And trust me, we all need to.
When thinking economics, many financial advisors recommend an emergency fund.
This is money set aside to be used only at times of real emergency.
We should think in similar ways about relationships.
Who are those in our lives we could call at any time day or night and they would respond in positive ways?
And the reverse must also be true.
Who are those around us who we will drop whatever we are doing to help should they need it?
We all need sticky friends, those who stick to us closer than a brother.
Now, having said this, I don’t know how we find these people.
Rather, I believe we are set near them by God and it is our responsibility to figure out who they are.
And, FYI, they may not be who we think they should be.
Certainly, they may not be anything like us, but there is something that will reveal to both parties that they are safe souls who can be trusted.
Now a personal note to paid subscribers.
First, thank you for supporting my writing.
Going forward I want to write some of my thoughts just to you in order to go just a little deeper. You can, in turn comment on what you have been reading in order to give me ideas for things you would like me to address.
Just today I reposted my initial explanation of what The Still Point was to be about and still think it is.
It is a daily brief thought about something that I use to keep me grounded.
I don’t have to tell you the world is a crazy place and information swirls around us — much of which tends to knock us off the calm center God has designed for us. It is a Holy Place where we can meet him — as each of us currently find him to be.
Every day (actually more often than that) we are given the opportunity — the choice — to face life with him or do it ourselves.
Whenever I try to go it alone I find fear begins to creep in. But when I stop and reject listening to my doubts and fears, and instead quietly ask him to show up, my life finds an unexplainable calm.
Psalm 41 (ESV)
God Is Our Fortress
TO THE CHOIRMASTER. OF THE SONS OF KORAH. ACCORDING TO ALAMOTH. A SONG.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
Come, behold the works of the LORD, how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah