Healthy Self-Love and Narcissism
Our view, not of self but of God, is the distinction between Healthy Self-Love and Corruption.
Now I get the "sacrificial" nature of God's love for mankind -- that he offered his son on a cross for our selfishness (aka sins), but this isn't the whole story. The crucifixion needs the resurrection to show the greater depth of God’s love. Jesus rising from the dead and ascending into heaven, as the Apostle's Creed tells us, to take his place at the right hand of God puts those of us who believe there as well. We now have the opportunity to see God's power, justice, and yes, the eternal nature of his love in ways the blind world cannot. This is the power source that can enable people to love themselves and then others.
So, what is Narcissism?
To be clear, this distortion does not come from God. Narcissism is Self-Entrapment. It is falling for the idea that I am more special than anyone or anything else. This is a hell-filled idea and ultimately destroys the one who chooses to believe it. On top of this, it certainly injures and at times, destroys relationships.
There is no arguing with a narcissist. They already know everything. To love someone like this well is to create a loving distance and not allow them the opportunity to manipulate you. When you do not go along with what it is they want you to do, don't be surprised when you are accused of being unloving, even hateful. Don't take the bait. The fewer words the better.
How to win an argument with a narcissist.
Answer. Don't get in one. Instead, find a community to both support you and hold you accountable. One of the problems with Narcissism is it can rub off on normal folks to some usually lesser extent when they attempt to legitimately defend themselves.
How to love a narcissist.
Answer. From a safe distance in order to maintain your connection with God. This can enable you to have a healthy happy life even should the narcissist never change.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.