Good Grief
It’s about loss and its replacement.
Once upon a time there was a land of no sadness. It was forbidden because the king believed that his subjects would be happier if they just focused on positive, uplifting, and useful things. Although it seemed reasonable at first and his loyal subjects, having no choice anyway, agreed it was a grand idea, problems began to quickly surface. For one thing people attempted to emphasize the happy and deemphasize the sad by banning minor scales and cords from their music. They removed darker colors from the paints available in the town’s art supply store as well. And most importantly, sad and upsetting words and stories were removed from circulation.
The result was not what the king expected. The people actually became sadder and then madder, only now they had to hold it inside themselves and pretend everything was A-OK.
One particular sunny day, for no apparent reason, all the towns people exploded with anger and, again, for no particularly happy reason anyone was later able to identify, they all ran the king out of town on a rail.
And then they lived happily ever after.
Well, not really…
Yes, they overthrew the king, but he was replaced and the next one was just as wacky, only in different ways. Fortunately, however, they were able to get all their colors, colorful words, and music back so they could express themselves appropriately as befitting goodly people of any distant imaginary realm.
As the king or queen of your own life is it not true that you often suppress and swallow your darkest emotions?
Which reminds me of something unusual Jesus said a few millennia ago.
A few posts back entitled An Unbelievable Declaration, we left him sitting with his disciples on a hill looking out over a sea of mostly poor and needy people. Remember, he stated that the real fortunate ones were the poorest of the poor, but he wasn’t finished.
In fact, he was just getting started.
Here is my paraphrase of what he said next (Matthew 5:4). Try to imagine you are hearing this for the first time.
“The fortunate ones in this crowd are those who can express deep pain over disappointments and losses, because they have set themselves up to be restored.”
What?
It’s good to be sad?
Actually, he isn’t the first to say this.
Take a look at this passage:
It is better to go to the house of mourning
than to go to the house of feasting,
for this is the end of all mankind,
and the living will lay it to heart.
Sorrow is better than laughter,
for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.
Ecclesiastes 7:2-4
I hope that cheered you up (that was a joke).
Life is filled with losses. Yes, this certainly, and probably most poignantly involves the death of loved ones, but it also involves not being picked for the team at school. It’s about broken hearts and the growing awareness that some dreams may never materialize. It includes disabilities, loneliness, isolation, and divorce. It includes regrets that we can never fix. The list seems endless. It makes me feel sad just listing them, and I’m having a pretty good day.
So, is Jesus being cruel or naïve? How can he say such a thing and really mean it?
For one thing I believe his list of blessings (also known as the Beatitudes) have an order and are cumulative. This means we know about the Kingdom of Heaven being right here and now from the previous statement. We have access to it and it will follow us all the days of our lives. And in this kingdom, there is a king. A better king than we are, even to ourselves. And this king sits on a throne of authority and dominion over all who willingly wish to be his subjects – those too poor to save themselves.
So what does this second pronouncement really mean?
Our tears won’t last forever.
When we can admit honestly where we are, even in the pit of despond, good things will happen.
I know, it’s completely counterintuitive.
So, what makes you sad? Name the loss. The broken heart. The loss of life, trust, time, function, mobility, and health.
But as you list them, also note that not all sadness qualifies. That’s because some sadness is anger in disguise. Of course, when we can recognize this, and truly become sad about our anger problem, then comfort naturally flows our way once again.
To me, when looking at a more accurate translation of Matthew 5:4 like this one from the English Standard Version
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
the key word is shall, not might.
Bank on it.
How will it come about?
It doesn’t say.
I sense that it comes through in many ways both directly and indirectly from God Himself — and it comes every day. It is new every morning.
I think we live the richest of lives when we are able to experience both the depths and heights of true living while knowing, we shall always be comforted.
Jesus told his disciples as he prepared them for his departure "So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you." John 16:22 And if we have Jesus in our lives, we too shall always be comforted and can experience that joy.