Forgiveness is Impossible
Until the attitude changes.
When we have been hurt by someone (and who hasn’t been hurt?), for some period of time, determined by the relative strength of our attitude as well as the nature of the wound, we suffer deep hurt. If this is permitted (by our attitude) to linger long enough, the wound hardens into bitterness. Bitterness lashes itself to our attitude limiting the attitude’s upside potential going forward. Smiles become a forced painful performance.
Eventually we settle into a “new normal,” often believing this is evidence of maturation; the putting away of childish things, like happiness, contentment, and joy. We conclude we were made for dark days and should never expect more.
Attempting to force forgiveness is difficult, possibly impossible in times of grieving, so I find it is best not to go there at first. Instead, I go and sit with God.
No words necessary at first.
I just imagine him, in some way, being with me like a good father would with his wounded child.
In time this simple choice to just draw near to him results eventually with me pouring my life, pains, and complaints out before him.
As my wounds surface he touches each one sanctifying it.
Bitterness evaporates.
Grudges disappear.
Eventually, whether delayed or immediate, my sense of being loved, of being okay, refills me.
And as my emotions stabilize it then becomes possible to consider forgiveness as the last act of barring bitterness from creeping back into my heart. I choose in forgiveness to focus in a new direction and move forward once again.
Matthew 11:28-30