Don’t Do It

Getting even is a bad idea

It’s fun to watch revenge movies, but leave it there. Don’t try any of that at home, because really, there is no upside.

Let’s take a closer look at revenge.

First, imagine whatever you do works, and the result is you are able to humiliate the other, just the way you were humilitated.

Do you think it ends there?

Do you think you have taught this other person a valuable lesson?

Or, do you think all eyes are now on you?

Because, now you are the mean one who enjoys humiliating others.

But that was only one possible outcome. Here is a more likely scenario.

Let’s say you do whatever it is and it doesn’t work or doesn’t work completely.

What will happen now?

Who really knows?

Remember, you can’t predict what will happen because you couldn’t even predict what did happen. I'll put my money on - It's not going to turn out well.

Finally, let’s say you do nothing except move on and live your life.

You don’t react.

You simply detach from the toxic behavior.

And because you are not doing any of this to be mean or get even, you remain open to reconciliation.

Assuming you have owned any part of the problem that you caused, then giving space will often result in the other being able to think about their behavior and come to you to reconcile.

If they do not, they are probably not people with which you should want to spend a lot of quality time.

Finally, you can’t change the junk in your head with the junk in your head. So if you are struggling with a toxic relationship, go attend a recovery group near you.