Climbing Out of Holes
Repentance isn’t a difficult subject to understand. It is an almost impossible act to undertake.
That’s because change is difficult and changing in front of others, whether it’s clothes or behavior, is embarrassing. It reveals weakness. It points out flaws that go against our slick PR campaign attempting to convince the world we are nothing but wonderful.
And what can be even worse is to permit the exposure of those we love. On the surface we justify covering over the sins of loved ones out of love, and most of the time this is right and good because we are seeking correcting behavior privately. But there comes a point, and there are times, when we are hiding the truth that someone else needs to come clean about publicly. We wish the truth was better than the reality of the matter, that this one we love was not addicted to alcohol or drugs, gambling, lying, cheating, stealing, and many other problems that have plagued mortal men and women ever since that fruit incident.
Owning our own character failures and detaching from the failures of others requires the proper use of personal boundaries. It is breaking codependency and learning the importance of being honest, with ourselves, God, and others. Usually it happens in that order. We wake up and then cry out and finally own up.
The good news is we don’t have to live in holes, even the ones we dug ourselves.
For though I [Paul] caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it—for I see that that letter caused you sorrow, though only for a while— I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death.
2 Corinthians 7:8-10 (NASB)
Codependency is a difficult behavior to break. But so important to recognize and acknowledge.