I have been in correspondence with a friend about problems in a church. We have both experienced this in our lives before and agree it can be frustrating. He or she wanted my opinion so I wrote a note back directly. Then I decided this topic has merit to discuss with the rest of you. Feel free to write me back privately or post a thought publicly. Whatever works for you.
Whether you are involved in church or not, your choices about how to participate (or avoid) probably, at least initially, do not come out of doctrinal concerns as much as they do personality problems. Over time, the importance of doctrine grows, because as we grow and we learn more about religion and the spiritual path it becomes more of who we are. Understand, I am not trying to color words negatively or positively, because I know we all have a few triggers. For some, words like doctrine, religion, or spirituality are negatively charged and for others they are just fine. Take my words in their best possible light and try not to let them trigger you if they seem to want to.
The nub of the problem this friend and I were discussing had to do with changes in worship format and styles. On the surface this may seem insignificant, but it really isn’t. It comes down to questions about how people are spiritually fed at church. Are they receiving what they need to grow and serve? Or are they living on fumes? Are the preaching, teaching, and music selections consistent with the foundational doctrines the church purports to believe, or have they been watered down with the idea that this might attract more people and grow the church? Often decisions can be colored by money pressures. Those in charge, whose livelihoods are on the line, can feel pressures to please both enough people and the right ones in order to keep the church viable.
Here was my basic response to my friend:
First, I would tell you that we are not alone.
We have a community, and it's a funny one. It includes tattooed rappers and formal theologians. And what we have in common, I think, is the belief that God actually exists and is active in the affairs of the world to include our own.
Next, I would say, that my first point doesn't really matter fundamentally.
In other words, when we strip it all away, including the church we attend, the people we know and love, everything material, all that we have and have not accomplished in life, it is of no importance COMPARED with knowing God personally. And the funny thing is, when we get this little point right, God then gives us back much of what we were willing to sacrifice, only now it is set in its appropriate place of importance. God is now first, we as individuals are second, spouses third, children and other family members fourth, work and the rest of it fifth and beyond. In addition, He gives us joy in the midst of the problems we still face and also the capacity to kindly care for others without becoming absorbed into their respective dramas.
We all have drama and we are surrounded by it, but when we look full in God’s face as best as we can imagine it to be, with the appropriately ascribed splendor of holiness He deserves, all the worldly drama disappears. When this happens we are then able to catch our breath and accept the troubled world we have been placed into without losing heart.
Now, I am a firm believer in the importance of church doctrine and I believe it is constantly under attack. Some of these attacks are diabolical in nature and some of these attacks are innocent questions and concerns and the working out of faith by those who have yet, but will likely, eventually, reach similar conclusions to ours and to those who came before us. None of this escapes God. He knows exactly where we are and what each of us needs. No matter what, we are safe in Him.
Where we can speak up for the truth of Scripture by showing the passages correctly interpreted to others, I believe we are called to do so. Where there are controversies that involve individual taste and experiences, I believe we are to love people where they are and continue to pray that God will light all our paths just a little better. If I get others to agree with me on things and they come to where I am, I think they will eventually become disappointed, because I have likely moved on. They would do better to follow the light God gives them and use the insights of others as simply useful and limited roadside markers.
One of the recovery methods I fall back on often is the idea that when I don't know what to do, doing nothing is a very good option. Oftentimes things work out and we don't lift a finger. I think that about churches. They are crazy places filled with hope and truth and people who need both because they are still searching and thinking that they have the answers everyone else needs to hear. When it comes to church, I suggest staying and praying as long as possible and leaving only when we see irreconcilable doctrinal errors.
Finally, a word to ministers from a layman.
I admire you and I pray for you. Your work is vital and much misunderstood. If you thought being a minister would be easy, I hope you have discovered that it is not only difficult, it is impossible. What I wrote above to my friend I think applies to you as well. Do not allow the church (which is your vocation) to rise above your relationship with God.
What do I mean?
You are shepherds. To be good ones you must be under a good shepherd or two yourselves, who will pray with you, hold you accountable, and point you to God. Isolation in ministry is a killer.
Listen carefully to your heart.
If you sense fear, then you are at risk of making decisions that will harm yourself, your family, and your congregation. Fear is an indicator that you need God to come in and do more in your life first. That is why God is first and you are second, not others. If you give yourself away as a sacrifice, make sure it isn’t to the demands of others. Give yourself away as a sacrifice to God alone. This is what you need to survive and it is what you need to preach for others to survive as well.
Finally. About sermons. It isn’t about style nor about delivery. It is about content. Are you feeding your flock? Are you growing in your study of God’s Word in order to provide appropriate meals to your congregation? You need baby food but only for babies, you need nutrition for growing young people, and you need sustenance for those in their later years that encourages, comforts, and calls them into battle, if only as prayer warriors. Be inclusive as God is inclusive but do not show favoritism. And remember, if everyone is happy, something is wrong. Ask God what it is.
Well analyzed Ben. As Christians whether clergy or laity we must be ever watchful & discerning on spiritual matters and the subtle way little changes can overtime effectively dilute what is right and true.
Such good insights to a growing problem.